More Sister Bonding

So Monday, Mom had the day off so I went over to their house and all of us except Bekah & Dad went to Taco Bell for lunch then went to Hobby Lobby to pick out a frame for dad to put a picture in that I of course wasn't in. *sigh* Then we came back to the house and played some badminton.





Sunday was Dad's birthday, so we went to Carlos O Kelly's for lunch, then went to Byron to mini golf(it was me & Dad in the end and I won!!!)  I had some really crazy shots that I probably couldn't do again! And Elizabeth got a hole in one. Then we went to Dairy Queen and got dad's ice cream cake, then took it home and had some. Then we played some badminton, although Lydia was being a butt and didn't want to play.But then Brady came over and she started playing, little stinker, then everyone went in except me and I was just sitting there thinkin, then Bekah came out with some popcorn and we played another game then I said we should go inside because the bugs were out, so we sat at the table and ate some popcorn. I tried talking to Lydia about how I didn't understand about everyone being so upset about her being gone, but she didn't really understand, so I basically dropped it. Then Lydia went to the bathroom, so Bekah & I ran downstairs and went in her area to hid from her. Lydia came down and called Bekah's name and we just sat there quietly and then just as Lydia was about to leave, Bekah sniffed, haha, so Lydia knew we were in there. Then we chased each other around, sat on each other, beat on each other a bit, we were having fun and Eliz was yelling at us to be quiet because she wanted to sleep, but it was only like 9, so we just told her she'd have to get used to it and she stormed out. Then I was writing with Bekah's Sharpie pack and I told Bekah to write something on me, so she wrote I <3 U then Lydia (the turd) wrote "My poop is brown" Lydia, then she wrote "bellybutton" on the back of my calf, then she wrote eye boogers on the top of my foot, then I told her to fix it and she put "I love" in front of it. I wrote boobs on Bekah's toes and Bekah wrote Brooke and pink on my other leg. We had so much fun just hanging out in Bekah's area. I love my sisters :)

Sister Bonding

Today was so fun with Hannah, Bekah, Lydia & Elizabeth. Hannah moved her stuff over to where Tab's stuff was and Elizabeth moved her stuff downstairs. Eliz had a ton of stuff so it took most of the day. Rebekah helped her put her clothes away all in the right places, altogether, I was so proud of how she was putting them together, but they started by putting the underwear away, which apprently means you have to roll them! That was so funny to watch. Oh and when mom was going through the clothes and she kept pulling things out and saying oh this is cute and I said you know Eliz isn't going to want it if you say it's cute, so mom was like oh this is manly. Haha, Eliz kept saying I don't need anymore clothes!!! Eliz and I went through the stuff in her room and threw stuff away and boxed up a bunch of stuff to give away. We were upstairs going through her stuff and Lydia and Bekah started pantsing her and she pulled Bekah's pants down a little far and was like oh there's hair and Bekah's like ya, I don't shave down there and I was like some people do and they get it waxed and Lydia was like ewww and Jason was like I don't wanna know what body part you're talking about. Then later on Eliz was looking at a picture on the fridge and was like I have a booboo on my forehead and I said well you need to get some booboos up there! I love my sisters so much and it was such a fun bonding day with them

And yesterday (8-24), I went over and hung out and we played some games, then I took Bekah to her bday party (Lydia & Eliz came with) then I brought them home and went home to eat then went back and we played some badminton, then later went and picked up Bekah :)

Infusion Hell start

Ok, so for the update on these stupid infusions. On Monday (July 23), they decided that they would call the IV team from now on, because they do this ALL the time and deal with hard veins and all that, anyway, they called the team and 30 later, still no one had showed up, so Paula, who I've had before decided to take a look and then said she was going to get Melinda, who is "very good and if I say she's good, she's good!" Anway, Melinda ended up going in the anicube (which is the bend of my arm) and it hurt like hell!!! And 3 days later, it was still hurting. When she did it, she's like, well it's in the vein, apparentely it doesn't matter if it hurts, as long as it's in the vein!!! So Wed, I felt like crap about the last 1/2 hr of dialysis. I started feeling really flu like, crappy, aches, fever all that fun stuff. Thankfully I had Marie, Dawn and Jamie who all actually care about me and Dr. Albright came over and wanted to do a blood culture because I felt so bad. I went home and spent the rest of the day in bed, but around 4, Lydia had said she wanted to do something, so I dragged myself out of bed and went and picked her up. I asked her why she didn't ask Brady and she said if she would have asked him, he would have told Mary who would have told Martha and that would be too many people, which I told her it wouldn't, but then Bekah wouldn't have a way to get to church because I was taking Lydia to church. When we were leaving I asked Bekah why she wasn't coming and she said because she wasn't invited and so I said do you want to come, which I think Lydia got a little upset about, but she got over it. We went to Taco Bell because Lydia had a gift card and then we went to the mall to Vanity. Then I took them to church. We played kickball and me, Lydia and Brady were on the same team and we were terrible!! But it was fun, but a hot and sweaty! Anyway, the next day I had another infusion and when she (Michelle Ring) took me into the room, I asked if they had called the IV team because it was supposed to be on my orders and she said no, it's not on here. She seemed kindof pissy because it seemed like she didn't really get to do anything because we had to wait for the IV team and when the guy came (Chad) he knew right away where he was going to go and he did a great job. Apparently he used a really tiny needle and Michelle had no idea what size it was and Paula was sitting there and Michelle was like what size needle is this? And Paula responded, but kindof in a you should know this kind of way, it's a 24.

Infusion Hell

So Thursday (July 19) was infusion day and after a bad stick, they decided they were going call the IV team. Alex, from the IV team got it in, but it was painful, so anyway, Cindy decided she would just put on the orders to call the IV team for me. On Monday, I got in there and they had called the IV team, but 1/2 hr later, they still hadn't showed up, so Paula was there and she said she would take a look, then get Melinda because "she's really good and if I say she's good, she's good" Well she got it in , but she used the anicube (the bend of my arm) and it hurt like hell and she was like well we're in the vein, so apperently it didn't matter if it hurt!! On Thursday (July 26), I got there and had Michelle Ring and I asked her if they had called the IV team because it was supposed to be on the orders and she said it wasn't on there and she seemed huffy because she couldn't just get me done, she had to wait for the team. Chad, from the IV team came and knew right away where he was going to go and it didn't hurt. Apparently he used a really small needle and Michelle asked Paula what size it was because she had never seen one that small and Paula responded kindof in a you should know what size it is, 24. Then Michelle said to Nom "She said that calling the IV team was supposed to be on the orders, but it's not." and Nom pointed it right out to her. She wasn't nice or friendly at all.
Wednesday (July 25), I had a pretty bad day. The last 1/2 hr of dialysis, I felt like I had the flu, achy, fever, just really bad. Thankfully, I had Marie, Dawn & Jamie and they took really good care of me. Also Dr. Albright came over and said he was going to do some blood cultures to make sure I was alright. I went home and spent the rest of the afternoon in bed. Around 4, Lydia wanted to go hang out, so I went to pick her up. I didn't think she was going to be able to hang out because when she asked Dad, he said we'll see, which almost always means no, but apperently he was at work, so it was up to Mom :) I went to pick her up and when I was leaving, I asked Bekah why she wasn't going and she said she wasn't invited and I asked her to come which I think maybe Lydia was a little upset about to begin with, but she got over it! I asked her why Brady didn't come and she said because he would have told Mary and she would have told Martha and then Bekah wouldn't have had any way to get to church since I was taking her. Anyway, we went to Taco Bell, then to Vanity. Lydia didn't have quite enough on her gift card, so I helped her out and got Bekah some earrings :) Then we took off to church and played some kickball. Lydia, Brady & I were on a team, a very losing team! :) But it was fun and hot and sweaty! We had Bible study, but I mainly texted people during it, probably bad, but I have trouble paying attention! :) Thursday, went over to Mom & Dad's around 5 to give them a bag of goodies for their trip. Dad was a pill as usual. There was a cake on the table and I said (jokingly) oh you made me a cake! and Dad was like NO! and I said Dad it was a joke, obviously you didn't make me a cake. What is his problem?? Seriously, is it just because I was born?? Get over it already!

and the beat goes on!

Ok so so many things going on lately. I guess I'll start with the new Pastor. I thought things were ok, but then days went by and he really started getting on my nerves :( First off, with as much as I love animals, the way he talked about animals just turned me off, but then he was like, I like dogs, I just think they should be outside (well that's dumb), then we were talking about the coffee at church and he said I don't drink Folgers and I was like oh you're a coffee snob and he's like yep. Then a couple days later, he was talking to Adam and they were talking about coffee and I mentioned that he didn't drink Folgers and he was like no it's fine, I drink it. LIE!!!! And he's very, very touchy feely. That's gonna have to stop it.I don't know there's just something about him that's really bugging me. And he's always telling me everyone's life stories. Probably things that people don't want other people to know. Ok, 2nd thing, there was a funeral today for Emma Tonak, Jake & Rachel's 2 month old. I never met her because she was born in KY and to be honest, we've never been close friends and that brings me to my first emotion of the day. What friends do I have that would come to my aid no matter what. Those 3 families are thicker than blood. I do know that Christina would have my back no matter what, but who else is there? Jake had an amazing speech and that took a lot of God power behind that being the dad. It was an amazing message of God's love. I had a hard time with any emotions, sad emotions because, well I think it's because I don't have any kids. I don't have that connection. What I'm struggling with is WHY?? Why would God allow the Tonaks to miscarriage, allow them to have another baby, then take that baby away after only 2 months?? No one is going to understand that this side of Heaven. One of my favorite things that Jake said was those who have Chirst have HOPE and how sad for those who have NO HOPE. We can't even fathom what's to come. More later on these stupid infusions!!!

Loooong Weekend

*SIGH* This has been an extremely long weekend. Thursday night (5-24-2012) I went over to mom & dad's because I was bored. Tab & Mom were working on her collages and Tab was VERY ornery. And I got really upset because Tab only had one picture of me, her big sister, the only big sister she has. It sounds idiotic, but I've talked to Tab so many times about how I don't feel apart of the family and then she did this. I was so upset and she didn't get it at all. I talked to her about it on Friday and it really didn't seem like she listened to me because she said that Dad had told her that once you get married you don't need to be around your family much at all.Then she said she needed to go to the bathroom and I think it was just an excuse to get out of the conversation. I told her I loved her no matter, because I do but I was extremely upset. That night was graduation and since Jesse was there, she didn't really care who else was there. it was better than some other times, but she still needs to realize that it's not all about him.

Saturday, I took Lydia and Rebekah with me to get stuff for grad gifts. We were in Shopko and Bekah tripped me, but I thought it was Lydia and I smacked her then blamed her for tripping me and she got really mad, I tried talking to her, but she was really mad, then she started crying, my sweet sister who is so free spirited and doesnt seem bothered by anything, was CRYING. That broke my heart and made me feel like a complete heel. I apologized so many times and she told me saying sorry doesn't mean anything if there aren't actions behind it. Finally at the end of the day, she told me it wasn't that I smacked her (which is what she originally told me), but that I had blamed her for something that she didn't do.

Sunday, was the open house for Tab & Mary. Tab was ornery because she wanted everything this way or that way and getting mad if it was not put in a certain place that was better than where she had it. I guess it got better throughout the day. But I snapped at Lydia at the beginning of the day because I was stressed about not having my memory card. I apologized to her later and she seemed ok. Jason had to go home early because Murphy (turner) was screeching. Came home after visiting Cindy Turner's open house and about 10 min later, Tab called saying I had to get over now because she was going to open gifts. She didn't seem that impressed with any of her gifts, even the money. Her & Jesse were going to another open house and I guess that was more important. She really just seems to be all about herself lately (well I'm not around her all that much) and it really pisses me off because she didn't get to where she's at by herself, she had help, from church family, friends. 

Monday-Heather's open house, we were walking up to the Snead's house and a little van with Jesse, Tab, Hannah, Bekah & Lydia were all leaving because they were tired of being there. They'd only been there an hour and a half, kinda dumb they were already leaving, but whatever. I had a fun time visiting with everybody, especially the dogs. I always enjoy hanging out with Christina and I talked some to the Schaefferites :) I like hanging out and talking to everybody, it keeps me from being bored at home.

LONG WEEKEND and so many emotions, many, many emotions.

Graduation

So Tab's graduation is 1 day away and I'm not ready for it! I don't know that theres a lot to say about it, but everything is changing and I don't like change. She's graduating, then college, then getting married all within a year. I love Tab very much. I think being the first sibling, we bonded more than maybe the others. All of this is just really depressing me. I have a hard time with Mick and Jesse because I feel like I have to work harder to be a part of the family and it's like all I can think about lately is everything I'm doing wrong and why can't I just be a part of the family. Why is that so hard?