Loooong Weekend

*SIGH* This has been an extremely long weekend. Thursday night (5-24-2012) I went over to mom & dad's because I was bored. Tab & Mom were working on her collages and Tab was VERY ornery. And I got really upset because Tab only had one picture of me, her big sister, the only big sister she has. It sounds idiotic, but I've talked to Tab so many times about how I don't feel apart of the family and then she did this. I was so upset and she didn't get it at all. I talked to her about it on Friday and it really didn't seem like she listened to me because she said that Dad had told her that once you get married you don't need to be around your family much at all.Then she said she needed to go to the bathroom and I think it was just an excuse to get out of the conversation. I told her I loved her no matter, because I do but I was extremely upset. That night was graduation and since Jesse was there, she didn't really care who else was there. it was better than some other times, but she still needs to realize that it's not all about him.

Saturday, I took Lydia and Rebekah with me to get stuff for grad gifts. We were in Shopko and Bekah tripped me, but I thought it was Lydia and I smacked her then blamed her for tripping me and she got really mad, I tried talking to her, but she was really mad, then she started crying, my sweet sister who is so free spirited and doesnt seem bothered by anything, was CRYING. That broke my heart and made me feel like a complete heel. I apologized so many times and she told me saying sorry doesn't mean anything if there aren't actions behind it. Finally at the end of the day, she told me it wasn't that I smacked her (which is what she originally told me), but that I had blamed her for something that she didn't do.

Sunday, was the open house for Tab & Mary. Tab was ornery because she wanted everything this way or that way and getting mad if it was not put in a certain place that was better than where she had it. I guess it got better throughout the day. But I snapped at Lydia at the beginning of the day because I was stressed about not having my memory card. I apologized to her later and she seemed ok. Jason had to go home early because Murphy (turner) was screeching. Came home after visiting Cindy Turner's open house and about 10 min later, Tab called saying I had to get over now because she was going to open gifts. She didn't seem that impressed with any of her gifts, even the money. Her & Jesse were going to another open house and I guess that was more important. She really just seems to be all about herself lately (well I'm not around her all that much) and it really pisses me off because she didn't get to where she's at by herself, she had help, from church family, friends. 

Monday-Heather's open house, we were walking up to the Snead's house and a little van with Jesse, Tab, Hannah, Bekah & Lydia were all leaving because they were tired of being there. They'd only been there an hour and a half, kinda dumb they were already leaving, but whatever. I had a fun time visiting with everybody, especially the dogs. I always enjoy hanging out with Christina and I talked some to the Schaefferites :) I like hanging out and talking to everybody, it keeps me from being bored at home.

LONG WEEKEND and so many emotions, many, many emotions.

Graduation

So Tab's graduation is 1 day away and I'm not ready for it! I don't know that theres a lot to say about it, but everything is changing and I don't like change. She's graduating, then college, then getting married all within a year. I love Tab very much. I think being the first sibling, we bonded more than maybe the others. All of this is just really depressing me. I have a hard time with Mick and Jesse because I feel like I have to work harder to be a part of the family and it's like all I can think about lately is everything I'm doing wrong and why can't I just be a part of the family. Why is that so hard?

Anniversary

So we celebrated our 8th anniversary. I had dialysis, so Jason took me to that and when he & Daisy came to pick me, he took me home and there were rose petals leading to the a present sitting on the stool in the living room. It was a birthday gift bag, but it had a bunch of safari animals on it including a rhino, which is why he bought it! :) It was the Diamond Edition of The Lion King on BluRay :) He first just wanted me to have something to open :) I had put together a little container of "hot" stuff (Twizzlers, Hot Tamales, Spicy Doritoes, Terryaki Jerky,Red Hots, Big Red & Smokehouse almonds) Then we sat and played some Oregon Trail on his Kindle, then went out shopping for running shoes (got some at Sports Authority) they were sale for 1/2 off and I got 25% off too for signing up for their rewards program :) Then we went to Famous Footwear and Kohls just to look at different shoes. Then I suggested we go to Target and I looked at some clothes and I got a couple shirts and a tank. We decided to see what movies were playing. We went to The Hunger Games because it was playing in like 20 min. There was only 1 other person in the theater.  Then we came home and got changed and picked up Daisy and went to play tennis. On our way home from tennis,I looked in the backseat and noticed blood on the backseat so I had Jason pull over and looked at Daisy's feet, which apparently places on each of her back feet were bleeding. She had ripped a toenail down to the quick on one foot and the other foot had pulled the nail way out. I had to bandage up both her back feet, poor baby! We changed our clothes again and went to Red Lobster for dinner. It was a really good anniversary. Jason told me that he felt he hadn't been a good husband and really wanted to do better that he hadn't treated me very well. It meant a lot that he said that.

I realized I didn't write anything about Jason's bday. I put together a party for him at the park by my parent's house. Molly made the cake and they were the first ones there and they went over to the playground and they really didn't come over and visit with people. We had about 30 people and after most everybody had eaten, we got a bunch of people together and played some kickball. It was a lot of fun. The best part is I prayed and prayed for the rain to hold off and it did! :)