Graduation

So Tab's graduation is 1 day away and I'm not ready for it! I don't know that theres a lot to say about it, but everything is changing and I don't like change. She's graduating, then college, then getting married all within a year. I love Tab very much. I think being the first sibling, we bonded more than maybe the others. All of this is just really depressing me. I have a hard time with Mick and Jesse because I feel like I have to work harder to be a part of the family and it's like all I can think about lately is everything I'm doing wrong and why can't I just be a part of the family. Why is that so hard?