Not worth it

Why is Dad the way he is? Things were going so well, now it's walking on eggshells never knowing when he's going to explode. The blowup when the grandparents and Ayme were here was awful. Him telling me I was controlling his life and then trying to slam the door in my face is on a neverending record in my head. It hurts deep in my soul. That can really happen, your soul hurting. I feel like I'm constantly being ripped from my family. It's such a struggle. I don't even know how to think or feel anymore.