The weekend, Fri-Mon

Ok so this weekend was somewhat busy. Friday night I went with Mom, Hannah, Lydia, Bekah & Joe to the Schaeffer Graduation ceremony, but on the way there, Lydia and Joe were throwing crayons at each other so Mom swerved over into a parking lot and called Dad and told him to come get them at the church. We got to the church and I think Mom was thinking, stay in the car to Joe & Lydia, but she didn't actually say it, so Lydia was following us up to the door and Hannah was like Dad's coming to get him and Moms' like no them and she looks behind us and Lydia is there and Mom's like what are you doing here? And Lydia says you didn't tell me to stay in the van. Anyway, we were like an hour early because Mom had to help set up, so Bekah and I just hung out and watched people. At one point Hannah came over and  Bekah's like fix your boob (her necklace) and Hannah says, which one and Bekah says all 3! :) I hung around with Bekah for awhile at the reception, then when she went to talk with her friends, I went in the kitchen and hung out with Mom. We had Napolean and Tinka from Fri-Sat and Sat, the family was going to Albert Lea to honor Nick for his Eagle Scout. We finally decided that we could leave the dogs for the day, but Sat morning, Jason wasn't feeling too good, so the family came and picked me up around 11:30 and we headed to Albert Lea, we stopped for McD's and I got fries and a drink, then we went to the church for the ceremony. It was small and it basically just solidified how perfect Nick is. After the ceremony, Lydia, Hannah and I went exploring in the church and we wanted to go up in the balcony so we went to this stairway, but it was dark and we couldn't find the light so we started up the stairs, and we were on the 2nd set of stairs and I heard my earring fall and I'm patting the stairs (in the dark) trying to find it! I was like Lydia, don't you have your phone. She's like yeah, I said give it to me so I can see!!! I found the earring and we got up the stairs but the door was locked. After an hour hanging out at the church, we went to Applebees for dinner. I just had mozzarella sticks and water. Nick's sisters wouldn't stop hanging on Tabitha and were honestly being quite annoying. Oh and I forgot that Joel was with us as well and Bekah was being an absolute pill about him being there. Not talking to him, walking away from him and not being nice at all. And at the end of the day, Bekah got out of the car and didn't stay to take Joel home. Sunday, we went to lunch with Bensons and Rebekah after I took Lydia home so she could hang with Julia. Then we went to see Epic with Mom, Dad, Joe, Elizabeth and Hannah. Monday after dialysis, we went over to Mom & Dads and all us kids went shopping to get Tab some new jeans and other clothes. They fought for awhile about who would ride with who since we couldn't get everyone in the one car. Tab finally said fine, Hannah, Bekah & Joe are all going with me because it will test patience. We went to Savers first and Tab had about 15 pairs of jeans, but there were too many people in the dressing room line so she just got a couple pairs and  I got a pair of shoes. Elizabeth bought some shirts too. Next we went to Target and got a few things and I got Hannah a skirt and Bekah a shirt and some shirts for Tab. We had to go home because lunch was ready, chicken packets. After that, I went grocery shopping with Nick, Tab & Dad. And after that, I went to the gas station with Dad where we had the slowest pump EVER, so Dad pumped a little, then drove around to a different pump! Then we went to HyVee and got some dove bars for Mom. We came back and then I took Bekah with me and we went to TJMaxx and got Tab some socks that she needed. Nick & Tab a few minutes after that and then Dad, Mom, Jason & I played Liar's Dice which is a game Nick brought over. We played quite a few rounds of that with different people.

Sister Time

This weekend, originally I had planned to go Friday night to Tabs and stay until Sunday. Well, we had a dog that was whining and barking for quite a bit and because Jason works Saturdays, so I just decided that I was going Fri. But Mocha(the dog) calmed down by Thursday night, but since I decided what I was going to do I just stuck with it. Friday night Jason & I went to see Thor, which was fun. Saturday morning was Elizabeth's game which they won. That was fun too. I wanted to leave by 3. I went to the store to get some stuff for Tab and I took a little too long so I ended up leaving late and Tab and I kindof got in an argument over texts  about how I was going to be late and there wouldn't be time to go over wedding stuff before the play we were going to. I was in Pine Island when I decided that I would stay the night (which I wasn't originally going to do), so I had to drive back to Roch and get my glasses and meds and grabbed a blanket and pillow and headed out again. *I'm really glad I stayed the night.
I got there and we went over to the library to print off the tickets for the play (which Tab was SUPER excited about!) then we went to the Stud (which is a food place in the main college building) Tab showed me how clean the lights were because she cleaned them for her job. And college people don't thank you for holding the door. I didn't really feel like any of the food there and Tab was chowing down on her weird sweettart sucker. She introduced me to their friends, David (who speaks Russian) and Peyton (a crazy, funny guy). Then we went to a gas station so I could grab some food which I was really able to eat because we went straight to the play. I took them in anyways! The Swansons were sitting behind us and Tab was trying very hard to avoid them which was funny.  we went to Cub Foods after that, where they were very friendly, then we came back and I chowed on some cereal while Tab and I did some wedding talk and some friend, school, etc. talk. She ended up sleeping on Ari's bed and I slept on hers. Her roommate told her I'm going to bed now so if you could keep it down.! RUDE! Ari had a stuffed turkey, a big stuffed turkey, in the room and a stuffed duck. She kindly put them in the closet out of view for me. Tab & Ari's room was a mess but the other roomies room was very neat! Haha.

9 years and still going strong :)

Tuesday was our anniversary. I woke up and Jason wasn't home, but there was a 2 page letter on the counter, I started reading it, but then he came in the door. He said he had some creating to do, while he was doing his stuff, I read the letter which was one of the most heartfelt things he'd ever written about a dream he had and how important I was to him. I don't know really know what to say about it because again, it was so heartfelt and out of the blue. I know what a great husband I have and this was just a great reminder of it. He made me a "9" out of a glazed donut from HyVee, then we went and played tennis at Allendale for a couple hours. That, of course, had it's ups and downs. After that we went home to shower, then went to Baker's Square since we went there often when we were dating. I ordered a grown up grilled cheese, but I forgot that they had tomatoes on it and Jason asked if they could make another one which they had no problem with and they actually only charged us for one and when Jason ordered his pie, she didn't charge us for that either. I had had her take a picture when we got there and I told her it was our anniversary. After lunch, we went home to put the food in the fridge, and I took Daisy on a short walk, then we went walk around by Kwik Trip and stuff, then came back and Jason got ready for softball, then we went to Target and I got some Bugles and Coke, then we went to the softball game. I sat by Kiah and chatted with her, Roxann and Erika and Jim. That was a pretty full day :)

Plasma Exchange and Infusion Therapy

So yesterday I started a new therapy. Originally I was supposed to get a central line, but Dr. Albright preferred them just using my fistula.  At 1:30 everyday I go get plasma exchange. It's like dialysis in a way. They put in 2 needles into my fistula, like at dialysis and hook me up to a really intricate machine that takes out my plasma and they have bottles of man made plasma that they put into me. They did a really good job. I had Jen and Louann on Tuesday and Jen & Jill today. On Tues, I got really cold (which apparently happens) and I had at least 10 blankets on me. But today, they had a blood warmer and they also give me calcium which makes me feel like Ive peed. Today, they were giving me another calcium injection into the machine and I started feeling really sick. They said it's because they are taking off fluid as well and I had had dialysis today so it was kind of a double dose of taking off fluid. It came and went pretty quickly, but it's still not fun. After I'm done with that I go down the hall to the Eisenberg building to get IV IG which is nutrients and that takes about 2 1/2 hours sometimes a little less. The first day, Tuesday, they basically were confused and not knowing how to deal with the fistula because they had never done it before. I would say something to the nurse and she would say that she would get the right person and then that didn't happen. When a person came to take the needles out, she didn't listen to me one bit. I talked to Kim at dialysis about it today and she talked to Theresa Elwood (the nurse supervisor) and they talked to the charge nurse at Eisenberg and they said it would be better today. It was better today. I called Christina and she said she would come and Non called and said she would come by as well. Both of them were there for me today and another nurse supervisor (Jane) came and talked to me about it. I had Mali as a nurse and she did a very good job of listening to me and pulling my needles. I'm just frustrated with all this because I'm letting my guard down and I don't like that. I don't like needing people or breaking down and letting people in. I'm worn down. Period. I just want this to work and just have to have to take pills and live life.

ATF 2013

this past weekend was full of lots of interesting things

• talks with Brock and some talks with Josh Calvert
• Bekah being afraid of the toilet
• Mary snoring and groaning in her sleep
• the heater kicking on and the fridge kicking on
• the mosh pit
• following Heather back to her dorm, pretty sure she was lost
• people throwing snowballs
• jumping on the beds
• Brock, Mike & Jamie never sitting next to anyone else
• Lydia flying a paper airplane into this ladies head...twice!
• break dancing and conga lines
• glow bracelets
• Rapture Ruckus
• Mackenzie being a butt and dragging Lydia with her
• Bekah being very blonde!
• Lydia singing about her boogers and not going to sleep
• lots of farting in our room Lydia"guess what?" Mary"what?" Lydia"I farted!"
• the screeching MC girl, Hannah, "do you want free stuff???"
• dinner in the van, I had ritz crackers and cheetos :)

Irritation

You know sometimes people just irritate me. Tonight people were talking to Rebekah about how she was on a diet and Jamie told her she didn't need to be on one and that she was skinny and I seconded that and she just got up and walked away. I went and found her and talked to her about it and how the insecurities I have and that she is a beautiful girl and it is good to eat right. It was hard because I felt like I wasn't telling her what she needed to hear, but I'm guessing anything I said wasn't going to help. Then earlier I had it out with Joel about him saying I hated something online. I don't like the word hate, it's a very strong word adn shouldn't just be thrown around. But I went up to him later and just called a truce. Then I was texting Brock during the youth group and I went and talked to him later and he's like I just told you to pay attention and I was like I can pay attention to multiple things going on and he was like well I like to focus all on just one thing and he was just being a brat about it, so I said fine I won't tell you you're good anymore. It's just frustrating how people are. Or maybe how I'm perceiving it, I don't know. Tab is coming home this weekend and I'm definitely not thrilled about it, I'll leave it at that.

Health stinks

So fistulagram time again. I just had one in September and just like the last few times, I dreaded it becasue the last few times have been quite painful. And the hospital staff doesn't seem to care much that it's painful. So I started out the day at 6:45 am at Gonda 2. Stop there, it was weird that they were having me at Gonda because I'm always at St. Marys, but like the very first time I had it, it was at Gonda, so anyway, I got called back about 7 am and Jessica was my nurse, very nice girl probably about mid 20s. After I had gotten in my gown and was laying there, they had the curtain partly open and I noticed Lindsey and Beth from dialysis there. They had a guy (Kevin) come in and start the IV which he did right away. He did a great job. Later after all the usual questions, an anesthesiologist came in and I explained about getting better drugs like I did when I had the bone marrow aspiration (Non had written it done for me) and he said it would be no problem. Emmanuel was one of the guys that explained everything about the drugs and said they would give me an additional drug-propofol would help make me more sleepy. A Dr. Sharp came in and had me sign a consent form and explained all the risks and everything. Then after awile Beth came in and said she would be the one administering the drug and that she would take care of me. So Emmanuel comes to take me back to the room and we get just about there and Dr. Sharp stops him and says to take me back to the prep room because "we're working out kinks and we may not do it today." So pretty much everyone was confused, but they took me back to the room and Dr. McPhail came to talk to me about how he looked at the ultrasounds and how my fistulagram is very narrow closer to my heart and how if they did it here (Gonda) and something happened they just don't have the equipment to handle it safely. He mentioned several times about how they couldn't SAFELY do it at Gonda and how he had talked to Dr. Albright. He said that most likely they would have to put in a stint. I got really upset at that and asked why they couldn't just balloon it open and wait. And he said because it wouldn't last very long. I asked if they could still try to do it at St. Marys because I already had the IV in and he said absolutely that he would make some calls and try to get me in today. When he left the room, I started crying even more, almost sobbing because to me a stint is permanent and I thought it would make it worse. Jessica asked if I wanted Dr. Albright to come talk to me or if she could get him on the phone and I said yeah, so she paged him and I talked to him for a little bit and he tried to explain that the stint would help keep it open longer and would be better in the long run, then Dr. McPhail talked to him a little and explained he didn't stay for sure that I would have to have a stint. Then Dr. McPhail told me they could shuttle me over to St. Marys and get me at some point today. He was very nice and explained everything very well to me. Emmanuel came in and said that they would take care of me at St. Marys....boy was he wrong! :(
So I wait for the shuttle and  take it to St. Marys and go up to Joseph 6 and when I check in, it's Renee VanNurden (Joel's mom) and that was the nicest person there. I get checked in and change into my gown and then get taken back to the room and get hooked up. Then the nurse explains that it will probably be about an hour or more because they have to work me in and I'm not assigned to a room yet. So I'm watching TV and fall asleep and get woke up by an anestheologist? and I explained to him about getting the propofol and it seemed like he was ok with it. Then about 15 min later, a nurse came up and said she was looking over my file and that I've had about 20 of these(which isn't true) and that they were going to proceed with the regular RN med push and I said no and explained AGAIN about how painful it's been and about what they told me at Gonda and she kindof argued with me about well did it hurt all the other times and I said yes at least the last 4 times it did and I felt like I just kept repeating myself, so she went away (I think her name was Mazy, something like that) then another lady showed up and said basically the same thing AGAIN about me having 20 procedures (again, not possible) and why I needed it this time and I explained about the pain and the Gonda people again and I said I really feel like I'm not being heard. Her name was Andrea and she was an anestheologist and had me do all the normal stuff so that I could go through with this drug and explained all the possible risks and stuff that it would probably sting. Then some dr. came by and didn't really talk to me was talking to the other people and then went away. Then Andrea came back and took me to the OR. The guy in there said hello and that was it. I mentioned to Andrea that I'm claustrophobic and asked if she could give me some drugs beforehand and she said that she would give them to me as soon as they got me settled in. She asked about putting a oxygen mask on me and I said it was ok and a couple minutes after that I woke up in back in the original room and I had some guy named Terry who had the worst bedside manner. He said he had to take some stitches out and I had to stay for about a half hour for observation. He took the stitches out and asked me if I wanted anything and I said just ice and he brought it and gave me two spoonfuls and then left. After that I started crying because I just wanted to go home because there was no caring from these people. He came in and wiped my face with a paper towel. Andrea came in for a couple minutes because I had broken blood vessels around my right eye. She said to Terry my nose was somewhat bloody and that I was itching my face during the procedure and squirming because I was in pain. (The good thing is I don't remember any of that) When they brought me back I squeezed Andrea's hand and thanked her because she gave me the drugs. After she talked to Terry though, she didn't say anything to me. After Terry wiped my eyes, I said I just wanted to go home and he said ok, took my IV out and took me out to the lockers. I got dressed, then waited for Mrs. B, when she came I broke down crying again. How can you have such nice people at one place and such unkind people at the next??