Irritation

You know sometimes people just irritate me. Tonight people were talking to Rebekah about how she was on a diet and Jamie told her she didn't need to be on one and that she was skinny and I seconded that and she just got up and walked away. I went and found her and talked to her about it and how the insecurities I have and that she is a beautiful girl and it is good to eat right. It was hard because I felt like I wasn't telling her what she needed to hear, but I'm guessing anything I said wasn't going to help. Then earlier I had it out with Joel about him saying I hated something online. I don't like the word hate, it's a very strong word adn shouldn't just be thrown around. But I went up to him later and just called a truce. Then I was texting Brock during the youth group and I went and talked to him later and he's like I just told you to pay attention and I was like I can pay attention to multiple things going on and he was like well I like to focus all on just one thing and he was just being a brat about it, so I said fine I won't tell you you're good anymore. It's just frustrating how people are. Or maybe how I'm perceiving it, I don't know. Tab is coming home this weekend and I'm definitely not thrilled about it, I'll leave it at that.

Health stinks

So fistulagram time again. I just had one in September and just like the last few times, I dreaded it becasue the last few times have been quite painful. And the hospital staff doesn't seem to care much that it's painful. So I started out the day at 6:45 am at Gonda 2. Stop there, it was weird that they were having me at Gonda because I'm always at St. Marys, but like the very first time I had it, it was at Gonda, so anyway, I got called back about 7 am and Jessica was my nurse, very nice girl probably about mid 20s. After I had gotten in my gown and was laying there, they had the curtain partly open and I noticed Lindsey and Beth from dialysis there. They had a guy (Kevin) come in and start the IV which he did right away. He did a great job. Later after all the usual questions, an anesthesiologist came in and I explained about getting better drugs like I did when I had the bone marrow aspiration (Non had written it done for me) and he said it would be no problem. Emmanuel was one of the guys that explained everything about the drugs and said they would give me an additional drug-propofol would help make me more sleepy. A Dr. Sharp came in and had me sign a consent form and explained all the risks and everything. Then after awile Beth came in and said she would be the one administering the drug and that she would take care of me. So Emmanuel comes to take me back to the room and we get just about there and Dr. Sharp stops him and says to take me back to the prep room because "we're working out kinks and we may not do it today." So pretty much everyone was confused, but they took me back to the room and Dr. McPhail came to talk to me about how he looked at the ultrasounds and how my fistulagram is very narrow closer to my heart and how if they did it here (Gonda) and something happened they just don't have the equipment to handle it safely. He mentioned several times about how they couldn't SAFELY do it at Gonda and how he had talked to Dr. Albright. He said that most likely they would have to put in a stint. I got really upset at that and asked why they couldn't just balloon it open and wait. And he said because it wouldn't last very long. I asked if they could still try to do it at St. Marys because I already had the IV in and he said absolutely that he would make some calls and try to get me in today. When he left the room, I started crying even more, almost sobbing because to me a stint is permanent and I thought it would make it worse. Jessica asked if I wanted Dr. Albright to come talk to me or if she could get him on the phone and I said yeah, so she paged him and I talked to him for a little bit and he tried to explain that the stint would help keep it open longer and would be better in the long run, then Dr. McPhail talked to him a little and explained he didn't stay for sure that I would have to have a stint. Then Dr. McPhail told me they could shuttle me over to St. Marys and get me at some point today. He was very nice and explained everything very well to me. Emmanuel came in and said that they would take care of me at St. Marys....boy was he wrong! :(
So I wait for the shuttle and  take it to St. Marys and go up to Joseph 6 and when I check in, it's Renee VanNurden (Joel's mom) and that was the nicest person there. I get checked in and change into my gown and then get taken back to the room and get hooked up. Then the nurse explains that it will probably be about an hour or more because they have to work me in and I'm not assigned to a room yet. So I'm watching TV and fall asleep and get woke up by an anestheologist? and I explained to him about getting the propofol and it seemed like he was ok with it. Then about 15 min later, a nurse came up and said she was looking over my file and that I've had about 20 of these(which isn't true) and that they were going to proceed with the regular RN med push and I said no and explained AGAIN about how painful it's been and about what they told me at Gonda and she kindof argued with me about well did it hurt all the other times and I said yes at least the last 4 times it did and I felt like I just kept repeating myself, so she went away (I think her name was Mazy, something like that) then another lady showed up and said basically the same thing AGAIN about me having 20 procedures (again, not possible) and why I needed it this time and I explained about the pain and the Gonda people again and I said I really feel like I'm not being heard. Her name was Andrea and she was an anestheologist and had me do all the normal stuff so that I could go through with this drug and explained all the possible risks and stuff that it would probably sting. Then some dr. came by and didn't really talk to me was talking to the other people and then went away. Then Andrea came back and took me to the OR. The guy in there said hello and that was it. I mentioned to Andrea that I'm claustrophobic and asked if she could give me some drugs beforehand and she said that she would give them to me as soon as they got me settled in. She asked about putting a oxygen mask on me and I said it was ok and a couple minutes after that I woke up in back in the original room and I had some guy named Terry who had the worst bedside manner. He said he had to take some stitches out and I had to stay for about a half hour for observation. He took the stitches out and asked me if I wanted anything and I said just ice and he brought it and gave me two spoonfuls and then left. After that I started crying because I just wanted to go home because there was no caring from these people. He came in and wiped my face with a paper towel. Andrea came in for a couple minutes because I had broken blood vessels around my right eye. She said to Terry my nose was somewhat bloody and that I was itching my face during the procedure and squirming because I was in pain. (The good thing is I don't remember any of that) When they brought me back I squeezed Andrea's hand and thanked her because she gave me the drugs. After she talked to Terry though, she didn't say anything to me. After Terry wiped my eyes, I said I just wanted to go home and he said ok, took my IV out and took me out to the lockers. I got dressed, then waited for Mrs. B, when she came I broke down crying again. How can you have such nice people at one place and such unkind people at the next??

Relatives and Dad's a pill

So John, Lesa & Garrett came in this weekend, so Friday morning, we went over to their house around 10 am (apparently they'd already been there a couple hours) and they were playing a movie trivia game that Tab & Hannah put together. After awhile we went up and played spoons which was pretty crazy but really fun, breaking a few spoons in the process!(plastic) Then there was a lot of randomness going on here and there and I went down a reprimanded everyone because I was mad they didn't want to play spoons anymore. Then I came down later and started beating people with my shoe, not sure why and Hannah took my shoe away and was trying to get me and that's when Dad came down and and squashed everything. Later on he said we all had to go on a walk and it was freezing!!!! When we came back, Dad's like if there's a bunch of noise, we'll be doing it again. I said haha Dad you're funny (not) Then later Tab & I were downstairs and she asked me (by typing on her phone) if I wanted to go get some candy with her, the dip  n sticks. So we ran out to the car real quick before anyone noticed. We went to the mall and went the candy emporium store then went down to auntie annes but it was too busy and they didn't have any pretzels made, then we went into Hallmark and looked at the ornaments and that's when Lydia called and she was mad because we didn't invite her then on our way home, lesa called and was like why didn't you invite me. I said we're coming home and she's like we're leaving to get some candy! When we turned on our street, they were coming down the street, so I said we should follow them. I called mom when we were behind them and asked where they were going and she said to get some coffee. So we followed them to Target then went in and Lydia and I went off and Tab called and Joe was looking for us then we all went to the entrance because Joe & Lydia wanted to go with them and they started running out the door and I yelled watch for cars and just as Joe ran behind this car, it started backing up so Tab went over to their car and said Mom you need to watch him, he doesn't listen. Then we went back home and I forgot I was supposed to get Jason a pop so I asked if anyone wanted to go and I kept asking Garrett then I finally said you know if you go with me, you can get a Monster!!! Then immediately he was like let's go! Lydia went with too and I got her some whoppers and Mom some pixie sticks. Then we came back home and played some more games and wrestled some more.


Uranus (uterus)---Uncle John
altitude and attitude

A Day with Mom

Day with Mom today. Every 4th weekend she has to work so she gets the following Monday off and during the summer, I would go over to their house, but since the kids are in school now, so she came and picked me up and we went to Jimmy Johns over by their house. We went in and sat down and she said there's a lot of people and I was looking around and thinking, hmm, there's only 2 other people in here~ :) She meant behind the counter, but it was funny! :) Then we went by their house to get stamps, then went to the bank and they bank at WellsFargo now and we went in the drive up and she said theres a person on there. I didn't see it because the teller wasn't talking, but when the teller starts talking the camera shows who you're talking to, again funny, because it was like Mom was hearing/seeing things again! Anyway, then we went to the mall because Mom had a coupon for for Coldwater Creek, which is a very expensive store!!! She ended up getting a scarf and 2 long sleeve shirts and after the $25 coupon it was still $65! Then we walked around and went in Forever 21 and I showed her the stuff that Hannah liked, then we went to Bath and Body Works and I got a couple candles, then we went to Sams Club. There was a lady at Sams with twin boys and another boy. It was funny because the twins were putting each other in a headlock and laughing at each other! :) Then when we got to the checkout, mom noticed the mom had dropped her jacket so she went to pick it up for her, but I didn't realize that, so I'm standing there at the checkout and realize Mom is nowhere to be found!!! She just laughed when she came back. She's like didn't you know, you're paying for it?! :) Then we came back to our place and played a couple games of Zip and a couple games of No Speed Limit. Oh and we had to go to the church to get Dad's computer cord that he left during SS. Then after we played some games, I asked her to change my nose piercing for me. She actually did a great job. I love days with my mom! :)

Family Time

9.1.12
So let's see, it's been pretty good lately with Dad, I haven't really come home feeling like I'm the scum of the earth and Dad thinks that too. Anyway, last Sat. I picked up Bekah and we went looking for a shower curtain that had owls on it to seperate her area downstairs.We went to BB&B first, but they didn't really have much of anything fun, so then we went to Shopko and found a cute one and we picked up some candy for everybody. We went by the theater to get Dad his gift card, but it wasn't open yet, so went back home, but then we realized we didn't have rings to put up the curtain, so we were going to go to Walmart and I asked if Mom & Dad needed anything and Mom said they needed dishwashing detergent and Dad said Mom needed towels, so I was asking about colors and Hannah kept freaking out about pink towels and how she wanted sky blue but darker but not navy!! Anyway, so Bekah & I went to Walmart and got the rings and then sent a pic of some blue towels to Hannah and she picked the one she wanted. So we got 7 of them then went home and put up the curtain. Mom asked me how much I owed her and I said 2 cents and she said what a bargain ,then I said you owe me a whole day with me! Then I said I don't need money, I need love!!! :) I was supposed to help Dad with organizing stuff, but he wasn't quite ready, he was cleaning out the little storage room and getting stuff to get rid of, so I asked him if he wanted me to come back the next day and help and he said to call him. We went to Menards to get some boards, Joe came with, then we went to HyVee to get some meat and drinks for the cookout at the Bensons that night. We came back home and Dad started cutting the boards, but then he stopped so we could go to Bensons.

9.2.12
I called him the next day and he said to come over. I emptied out the school stuff from the bottom of the pantry and organized all of it. It took quite awhile, they could open a small office supply store with all their stuff! Dad had to go get some more boards because he cut them wrong. I got all the stuff organized and put on the new shelves, then we had a bonfire that night and lit a bunch of sparklers. It was a lot of fun! :)

9.9.12
Today we had a potluck after church and we brought Lydia & Bekah home and asked if Joe could come over and watch the Vikings game and when I brought him back home I would pick up him, Lydia & Bekah for the SS Worker's Meeting, so he said that would work. So Jason & Joe watched the game with lots of yelling :) then they walked to Cherry Berry, then came back and watched a little more then I took Joe home and I sat downstairs and watched some LOTR with a few of them. Then I took them to the meeting and on the way home, Dad was picking (not in a bad way) about my driving or things going on on the car!! And Bekah said you know you're driving's not that great either Dad! :) And earlier Bekah was showing her homework flashcards to Dad and he was saying something about math flashcards and she was like I don't do math flashcards Dad, nobody does, except you! And Mom was like you're not gonna get anywhere saying that! :)And when we were at the meeting and talking to Bekah, she answered us and stuck her boobs out! It was funny.

More Sister Bonding

So Monday, Mom had the day off so I went over to their house and all of us except Bekah & Dad went to Taco Bell for lunch then went to Hobby Lobby to pick out a frame for dad to put a picture in that I of course wasn't in. *sigh* Then we came back to the house and played some badminton.





Sunday was Dad's birthday, so we went to Carlos O Kelly's for lunch, then went to Byron to mini golf(it was me & Dad in the end and I won!!!)  I had some really crazy shots that I probably couldn't do again! And Elizabeth got a hole in one. Then we went to Dairy Queen and got dad's ice cream cake, then took it home and had some. Then we played some badminton, although Lydia was being a butt and didn't want to play.But then Brady came over and she started playing, little stinker, then everyone went in except me and I was just sitting there thinkin, then Bekah came out with some popcorn and we played another game then I said we should go inside because the bugs were out, so we sat at the table and ate some popcorn. I tried talking to Lydia about how I didn't understand about everyone being so upset about her being gone, but she didn't really understand, so I basically dropped it. Then Lydia went to the bathroom, so Bekah & I ran downstairs and went in her area to hid from her. Lydia came down and called Bekah's name and we just sat there quietly and then just as Lydia was about to leave, Bekah sniffed, haha, so Lydia knew we were in there. Then we chased each other around, sat on each other, beat on each other a bit, we were having fun and Eliz was yelling at us to be quiet because she wanted to sleep, but it was only like 9, so we just told her she'd have to get used to it and she stormed out. Then I was writing with Bekah's Sharpie pack and I told Bekah to write something on me, so she wrote I <3 U then Lydia (the turd) wrote "My poop is brown" Lydia, then she wrote "bellybutton" on the back of my calf, then she wrote eye boogers on the top of my foot, then I told her to fix it and she put "I love" in front of it. I wrote boobs on Bekah's toes and Bekah wrote Brooke and pink on my other leg. We had so much fun just hanging out in Bekah's area. I love my sisters :)

Sister Bonding

Today was so fun with Hannah, Bekah, Lydia & Elizabeth. Hannah moved her stuff over to where Tab's stuff was and Elizabeth moved her stuff downstairs. Eliz had a ton of stuff so it took most of the day. Rebekah helped her put her clothes away all in the right places, altogether, I was so proud of how she was putting them together, but they started by putting the underwear away, which apprently means you have to roll them! That was so funny to watch. Oh and when mom was going through the clothes and she kept pulling things out and saying oh this is cute and I said you know Eliz isn't going to want it if you say it's cute, so mom was like oh this is manly. Haha, Eliz kept saying I don't need anymore clothes!!! Eliz and I went through the stuff in her room and threw stuff away and boxed up a bunch of stuff to give away. We were upstairs going through her stuff and Lydia and Bekah started pantsing her and she pulled Bekah's pants down a little far and was like oh there's hair and Bekah's like ya, I don't shave down there and I was like some people do and they get it waxed and Lydia was like ewww and Jason was like I don't wanna know what body part you're talking about. Then later on Eliz was looking at a picture on the fridge and was like I have a booboo on my forehead and I said well you need to get some booboos up there! I love my sisters so much and it was such a fun bonding day with them

And yesterday (8-24), I went over and hung out and we played some games, then I took Bekah to her bday party (Lydia & Eliz came with) then I brought them home and went home to eat then went back and we played some badminton, then later went and picked up Bekah :)